Find YOUR happiness.

It's funny. You grow up in the United States and you learn about how the foundation of this country is built on freedoms and dreams. Whatever you put your mind to, you shall achieve. Young children are repeatedly asked what they want to be when they grow up. . . answers such as astronauts, firefighters, professional athletes, veterinarians, doctors, and teachers fill the room. This little seed is planted into a young mind and their imagination runs wild.

Looking back, it's interesting how we inadvertently associate happiness with a job title. We associate value with a job title. We associate success with a job title. I didn't realize it until recently -- about 20 years after I was first asked "what do you want to be when you grow up?" My first answer? I can't even remember. I know that it has changed throughout my lifetime. It changed when I learned more about myself, more about the world, and more about life. I know at some point it was to be a WNBA player. I wanted to play professional basketball. I also remember when I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to be an author, an accountant, a financial adviser, a basketball coach, and a business owner. It changes. I changed from the WNBA dream when I realized I wasn't good enough to play professional basketball. It changed from the doctor dream when I couldn't balance the academic course load and be on a basketball scholarship. It changed from accountant when I knew a behind-the-desk job didn't align with my personality. It changes.

So now I am here. I am at that point in life where I've finished college. I am transitioning into the full-time job phase. I spend 2-3 hours a day looking for jobs, applying for jobs, taking phone interviews, in-person interviews, turning down jobs, keeping some options open, etc. 80% of the daily conversations lead to: "So what's next?" or "What's your plan?" "What are you going to do?" "Have you accepted a job yet?" Unfortunately, the go-to answer for me the last 6 years was "Oh, I'm still in school." But I can't dodge it that simply anymore.

So I look back. I think of the times that I have been asked what I wanted to be and I realize that it's changed. The more that I go through life, the more that I learn, and the more that I experience, the more it changes. And I've also realized, its OKAY that it changes.

Admittedly so, I'm a planner. I've had my whole life planned out, really. When things don't go as planned, I don't always handle it as gracefully as I should. Throughout my life, things didn't go as planned. Not at all. I turned out okay. I don't regret a thing. I feel that things fall into and out of place for the most perfect reasons.

I also am a worst case scenario kinda person. I hate it about myself, but I chalk up EVERY decision like if I make the wrong decision, it's going to be the end of the world. I won't end up okay. I'll lose everything. I don't know if you can relate....but it certainly adds exponential pressure to simple decisions.

So, now is the time for self reflection. What DO I want to be? What profession DO I want to pursue? What job AM I going to take? And then it dawned on me. In all the times I've ever been asked (or asked another person what their plan is) I've said a hundred different answers and I've heard a million different answers; but, I've never actually heard the most important answer:

I want to be happy.

What kind of answer is that? What do you want to do? What do you want to be? What is your plan?

I plan to be happy.

......

Here is what I know. Happy looks different for every single person. Quite honestly, it even looks different for the same person at different points in their life. For example, for some people, happy means money. It means making the most money and buying the best of every thing and it means being financially free to do as they please. For other people, happy means serving. It means living minimally and volunteering to make the world a better place. It means picking up your whole life and becoming a missionary and spreading the gospel around the globe. For some people, happy is a person. It is coming home from their job to their person and growing a life together. Happy can be traveling. Living so minimally that you can pack all of your belongings in a suitcase and travel around the world. Happy can be a job. It can be waking up everyday and saving lives. It can be rocking newborn babies at the hospital. It can be teaching elementary kids. It can be pursuing your own business. Happy can be family. It can be staying near your immediate family or getting married and having your own family. Happy can be friendships. It can be meeting a best friend who just gets you and brings total enjoyment to your life. Happy can be a location. It can be living in Hawaii, in a cabin in the mountains, in a beach house on the coast, in a studio apartment in New York City or on 15 acres of land in the country. Happy can also be a combination of any two, three, or four of these things. Happy can be anything.

I immediately realized that happy looks different for everyone. I also understood that not everyone understands your happy. I understood that someone driven by money can't imagine working a $35,000 a year job even if you wake up and LOVE what you do. I realized that people who value their career can't imagine choosing your family over a career advancement. I realized that people who value travel can't understand the concept of staying in one place and building a life there. I realized that people who value materials can't imagine living minimally. Simply so, I realized that some people can't wrap their head around your happy because they have their own happy.

I also realized....that is perfectly okay.

It is okay to know your happy. It is okay to know your dreams. It is okay to know what drives you. Maybe it is money. Maybe it is career. Maybe it is family. Maybe it is service. Maybe it is travel. Maybe it is helping animals. Maybe it is being a vegetarian. Maybe it is getting married. Maybe it is being single. Maybe it is shopping. Maybe it is a promotion. Maybe it is adopting. Maybe it is never having kids.

I realized one last thing: You don't have to explain yourself.

You don't have to explain why your happy is different from others'. You don't have to get your happy to align with other people's happy.

Your happy is going to change. At the beginning of your life, it may be your career. Then it'll switch to family. Maybe right now it is travel, and then you'll focus on your career. Maybe, you've been working 20 years doing something that you don't truly love. And your happy is something else. It's okay.

My advice....wherever you are in your life. Young, old, entry level career, advanced career, family, no family, etc. Figure out what your happy is. And chase it. Chase it as hard and as fast as you can. Go be happy. And don't explain yourself to anyone who doesn't understand your happy. Encourage others to chase their happy.

If I fast forwarded to my life in 5, 10, or 30 years...I have NO IDEA what I'll be. I don't know where life will take me. I don't know what job I'll hold, I don't know what my family will consist of, I don't know what my living situation will be. I don't care about much of that.

I just hope I always choose happy. I hope I wake up every day and choose to be happy. To have a positive attitude, to surround myself with people that make me happy and to live a fulfilling life. And I hope you do, too.

-APC